Fallen Angel
by Hobbit985
Summary: Jack and Ianto angsty fic. What happens when they lose their little angel?
1. Chapter 1

It was possible the happiest day of his life when Jack discovered he was pregnant. It had taken him so long to get to the point where he and Ianto could be together, properly, and the thought of having a child made it perfect. Of course there were still all the dangers of working for Torchwood and the fact that their beginnings had been less than ideal, but they were still here and together and that was all that mattered.

Ianto was thrilled at the news too and took it all in his stride. He was the perfect partner even during the pregnancy when Jack was in a foul mood. The morning sickness, the increasing frustration at being kept in the Hub, and the ability not to be able to move around towards the end all made Jack miserable, but Ianto always had something to make him feel better.

When their son was born he was perfect in every way. Tufts of chocolate brown hair and bright blue eyes; they couldn't have asked for anything more. They took a long time going over names but in the end they settled for Gabriel. Their little angel.

Things were tough, but they coped. Gwen was more than a little suffocating, but Ianto managed to deter her from hovering round Jack and Gabe constantly. The late nights were made easier by the fact that Jack didn't need to sleep. All in all, things were quite happy.

Tosh offered herself to them as well, but was a little more tactful than Gwen, spotting the signs of exhaustion and giving them a wide berth when they needed it. Owen didn't coo, or offer to baby sit, or even acknowledge that the Hub appeared to have turned into a day care centre. But when they really needed it, like during the pregnancy, and when they had a question about diet, Owen would always help. No matter how small the worry he would reassure them without his usual sarkiness.

Ianto wandered about the Hub, with an eight month old Gabe in his arms, watching the team as they went about their daily tasks, writing up reports, examining various bits of alien machinery that had washed through the rift, the usual.

Gwen was hovering near her desk, not really working. Ianto could tell by the way she kept shifting in her seat and glancing up at him that she was itching to hold Gave. He knew there was no reason for it, but Ianto hated it when Gwen held Gabe. There was some part of him that just didn't like other people touching his child. Sometimes he even found himself wanting to take Gabe off Jack for a cuddle. Owen wandered past tutting at him.

"What?" Ianto asked, turning to follow him to the top of the autopsy bay.

"Well the way you're holding onto the sprog for dear life I'm never gonna get a cup of coffee!" Owen rolled his eyes, but eh was smiling to show he was only teasing.

"Well as soon as his Mummy returns I'll make a fresh batch," Ianto promised, rocking Gabriel and making him giggle.

No sooner had he said that than the cog wheel door opened and Jack Harkness bounded through, opening up some CCTV on Tosh's computer screens.

"We've got reports of a group of Weevils hanging about by a warehouse down in the bay," he said. "Reckon there's a nest down there."

"Nest? As in..?" Gwen was stood next to him now.

"Yeah, they've got little Weevils in there," Jack caught Ianto's eye and grinned. "Thought it might be best to bring the family in."

"I'll fetch the Weevil spray," Gwen hurried off to collect the 'Weevil kit'.

"Owen?" Jack called, heading over to the autopsy bay. "Where's Tosh?"

"Down in the archives packing away that alien translation thing we found the other week," Owen replied. "Why?"

"We're going Weevil hunting," Jack replied. "Could you go fetch her and prepare the SUV?"

"Yeah, sure," Owen nodded.

Jack wandered back towards Ianto, kissing him lightly.

"Won't be long," he promised. Then he kissed Gabe's head. "And then I'll get to finally cuddle you!"

He held his son's hand for a moment, pulling faces to make him laugh. Gwen reappeared and waited pointedly next to him.

"Right then," Jack straightened up. "Back in a bit!"

He led Gwen out of the Hub and towards the SUV, after Owen and Tosh who had disappeared out a few moments earlier.

Ianto was left alone in the silent Hub, holding his son. He sighed slightly. Well, maybe not everything was perfect. Sometimes it took several days of rushing about before they finally got some quality time together, the three of them.

"I think I should put you down for a nap," Ianto said quietly to Gabe who just gurgled in response.

They had expanded Jack's back room in the Hub and converted it into a nursery several months before Gabriel was born. It was almost like having a flat below the secret HQ. Still, at least they could be on call this way.

Ianto lay Gabriel down in his cot, whispering to him until he fell asleep, gently tucking the soft blue blanket around him. Ianto kissed Gabe's head, wandering out quietly, making sure he had the baby monitor with him.

If the team were going to be out collecting Weevils he might as well try and do a bit of cleaning. The Hub hadn't been done properly in a while. It was always so much harder to find the time now.

He still had his kit thought, and after a quick rummage through the draws and cupboards in the reception area, he had gloves, bleach and just about every cleaning product on the market.

Ianto took his time, making sure that he covered everything, from dusting and polishing, to hovering, all the time keeping the baby monitor within ear shot.

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Jack drove the team down to the docks and they quickly spread out. They were under orders not to try and tackle any female Weevils, though, as Owen unhelpfully pointed out, they didn't know how to distinguish between male and female from a distance. Jack had also told them under no circumstances were they to disturb the next or any baby Weevils they might come across.

In the end, it was a lot easier than they thought. Jack rounded up some of the bigger Weevils and once they were safely sedated and tucked into the back of the van, fetching the litter was a much easier task.

All in all Jack felt it was a very good team effort and they were back at the Hub less than three hours later. Unsurprisingly they found Ianto cleaning and after much negotiating had to put down newspaper before they led the Weevils in and down to the cells.

"You're so OCD," Jack rolled his eyes smiling.

"Uhh, excuse me!" Ianto nudged him. "I spent hours cleaning that floor! You're not dragging dirt through now!"

"Alright, sorry," Jack kissed him. "Where's Gabe?"

"I put him down for a nap," Ianto replied glancing at his watch. "Though, he'll need feeding soon."

Jack nodded.

"Maybe once the team have finished setting up the new Weevil nest and have filed their reports I could send them home early?" He raised his eyebrows at Ianto suggestively. "We haven't had much time together recently."

"Sounds tempting," Ianto replied. "I'll just go check on Gabe; if we're lucky he might sleep long enough for us to…"

He trailed off grinning at Jack.

"Ooh, Ianto Jones!" Jack laughed. "Go on, I'll get rid of the team."

Ianto chuckled heading down to the back room to check on their son.

Jack meanwhile wandered down to the cells and supervised the team with their Weevil nest. All the Weevils they'd caught seemed pretty happy to settle down once they were with the litter. It had taken a bit of rearranging, but they'd freed up a cell big enough to contain all of them.

"Right you lot," Jack said clapping his hands together once they'd finished. "You can type up reports tomorrow. I think you all deserve a rest. I will see you in the morning."

"Is that your subtle way of trying to get rid of us?" Owen asked as he packed up his med kit. One of the Weevils had taken a large chunk of flesh out of his hand.

"Yes it is," Jack nodded. "Anyone want to complain?"

The team quickly packed up and began heading back to the main part of the Hub. Jack followed them, watching as they sorted out any personal belongings they had with them.

"I've just got to put this away," Owen said, holding up his bag. "And then I'll be out of your hair."

"Ok," Jack nodded, heading towards his office and disappearing down into he back room. "Owen's just packing up."

Ianto nodded mutely.

"What's wrong?" Jack asked suddenly taking in the shivering form of his partner. Ianto's face was streaked with tears. "Ianto, you're scaring me."

Ianto was cradling Gabe in his arms. It didn't take Jack long to put two and two together, but his mind was refusing to believe it.

"Ianto," Jack rushed forward. Ianto shrank back slightly as though fearing Jack was going to hit him.

Jack stood in front of him, trying to control his suddenly hammering heart. He reached out, almost not daring to touch Gabe. The moment his fingers connected with his son's tiny body he knew. Jack knew that his son wasn't there anymore.

"He's…" Ianto looked at him desperately, unable to say it. "Where's he gone Jack?"


	2. Chapter 2

Jack swallowed hard. No. This couldn't be happening. It just couldn't. He took a step back trying hard not to burst into tears. Ianto was still shivering, holding Gabe close as though if he let go it would make everything real.

"What happened?" Jack asked quietly.

"I…" Ianto took a shuddering breath, fresh tears coursing down his cheeks. "He was fine earlier and then… I put him down for a nap… but when I came to check on him…"

Ianto stopped. He couldn't carry on. He couldn't say it. He sat down on the bed that he and Jack shared, rocking back and forth gently.

"Are you sure he's…" Jack wandered slowly over and sat down next to Ianto.

Ianto nodded mutely. He'd known from the moment he entered the back room that Gabe was dead. There had been something about the eerie silence as he wandered over that had told him there was no one else there. Just an empty shell where his son used to be.

"Oh god…" Jack covered his face with his hands.

Ianto turned towards Jack, reaching out with one hand to stroke his back gently. Jack couldn't bear it; he pulled Ianto towards him, hugging him tight, careful not to squash Gabe.

Jack sobbed into Ianto's shoulder, fingers ghosting over his son's tiny body. Ianto didn't make a sound. It was almost like he didn't want to make too much noise in case he woke Gabe up.

"What did I do wrong?" Ianto whispered after a moment.

"Nothing," Jack pulled back far enough to look at Ianto. "You didn't do anything wrong."

"I must've done something…" Ianto closed his eyes for a moment.

"Maybe it was me… maybe because I'm immortal…" Jack shook his head. "We need to get Owen."

"What? Why?" Ianto asked.

"He'll need to… oh god… he'll need to do an autopsy… and…" Jack ran a hand through his hair. "Oh god… why now?"

"No… no he's not cutting up our son," Ianto shook his head, cuddling Gabe, holding his tiny hand.

"Ianto…"

"NO!" Ianto shouted. "No one is coming near him… not yet… I just…"

Jack watched Ianto, his heart breaking. How could this have happened? They dealt with aliens all the time and their son is killed by something as human as cot death? It was unbearable. There were only so many times he could get hurt like this. Jack wasn't sure if he'd be able to cope with another loss.

"I need to hold him for a bit longer," Ianto continued, calmer now. "Please."

Jack nodded. He stood up and headed for the ladder up to his office. He still had to call Owen even if Ianto didn't want to hand Gabe over yet. His hands flew over his desk trying to find his ear piece. When he finally found it Owen didn't pick up straight away. He sounded annoyed when his voice floated down.

"What do you want Jack?" He asked.

"I need… I need you to come back…" Jack closed his eyes willing himself not to break down.

"Jack? What's happened?" Owen had heard the desperation in Jack's voice and even he, king of sarcasm, knew where to draw the line.

"I just need you to come back, ok?" Jack hung up before Owen could answer.

He spent the next agonising ten minutes waiting for Owen. He almost hoped that when he went to fetch Ianto, he'd find it had all been some cruel trick.

"Jack?" Jack almost fell off his chair as he realised Owen was stood in front of him. "What's wrong?"

Jack burst into tears again. It just wasn't fair. Why did it have to be their little angel? Owen put a hand on his shoulder.

"Where is he?" He asked gently.

"Ianto's got him," Jack managed to say finally, not questioning how Owen knew what had happened. "But I don't think he wants to let go."

"Ok," Owen straightened up. "You go and talk to him. I'll be waiting in the autopsy bay when you're ready."

Jack nodded and watched Owen leave his office. He'd never truly appreciated what a compassionate medic they had. Taking a deep breath, Jack went back down to Ianto who was still sat on their bed, cuddling Gabe, whispering in Welsh to him.

"Owen's waiting," he said quietly.

"Jack… I don't…" Ianto pressed his cheek gently to the top of Gabe's head. How could this happen?"

"I don't know," Jack wandered over, standing in front of Ianto. He held out his hands desperately. "Can I hold him?"

Ianto nodded and gently passed their son over.

"Hello baby," Jack held Gabe close. "Oh… I'm sorry…"

Ianto pressed his palms into his eyes until little white stars erupted in his vision. He could hear Jack talking to Gabe gently, but if he didn't look he could pretend that there son was alive and looking at Jack with his beautiful blue eyes.

"He can't be… oh Jack… this is killing me…" Ianto sobbed. "Our little angel… he can't really be…"

"I know," Jack stroked Ianto's head with his free hand. "I know."

Ianto took a deep breath and stood up. Jack watched him carefully until finally he nodded and Jack began the slow walk to the autopsy bay.

Owen looked up as they approached, marking something on his clipboard. Jack lay Gabe down on the table, reluctantly standing back. Ianto had sat on the steps, unable to watch.

"You don't have to be here," Owen said gently. "And it might be better if you weren't."

"No… no we…" Jack trailed off and went to sit by Ianto, pulling him close. "We just… we have to make sure our baby's ok."

Owen nodded.

"I'll be as quick and non evasive as possible," he promised, gazing down at the tiny form of Gabriel and wishing he hadn't been so dismissive of the child.


	3. Chapter 3

Ianto sighed as he looked at himself in the mirror, smoothing down his black suit and running his fingers through his hair.

"You look fine," Jack said for the millionth time that morning.

"I know!" Ianto snapped. He regretted it instantly. "I'm sorry… I just…"

Jack nodded and went to stand next to him, wearing a similar suit. Ianto threaded his fingers through Jack's, squeezing gently.

"It'll be ok," he said.

"Yeah," Ianto sounded unconvinced though.

"Come here," Jack pulled him into his arms, hugging him. "It'll be easier after today."

"No it won't," Ianto replied sadly. "It's always going to hurt."

"I didn't say it would heal completely," Jack pulled back to look at him. "Just that it gets easier."

"We better get going," Ianto said finally, pulling away from Jack and picking up a small blue blanket and soft toy rabbit.

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Jack pulled up outside a small church quite a way from the centre of Cardiff. Ianto got out first still clutching the blanket, and Jack followed behind him, holding the rabbit. Tosh, Owen and Gwen were already waiting outside. Jack and Ianto approached slowly and they turned to greet their friends.

"Hey," Gwen gave Jack a hug. "How are you?"

"As good as could be expected," Jack replied. Ianto's grip on his hand tightened. The Welshman was so glad Gwen hadn't asked him such a stupid question. He wasn't sure he'd have been able to contain his anger.

"It's a lovely church," Tosh said awkwardly. Torchwood had never been very good with the whole death thing.

"Thanks," Ianto managed to say. Owen didn't say anything, just looked between Jack and Ianto mournfully.

When they finally went in Jack pulled Ianto to one side. Ianto frowned slightly, watching as the other three took their seats.

"Just bear with her for a few more hours," Jack said gently. "I know that she drives you insane, but… please…"

"Ok, ok," Ianto pulled the blanket up to his face breathing in Gabe's scent. He suddenly found himself close to tears. "I don't know if I can do this Jack… I'm not ready to say goodbye…"

Jack pulled him for another hug.

"We have to, Ianto," he said gently.

Ianto let Jack lead him down the isle to sit with the others, clutching the blanket like it was the only thing stopping him from breaking down completely.

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They all clustered round the grave. It was freezing cold and there was a frost on the ground but it didn't seem to matter. Neither Jack nor Ianto could feel anything anyway. They were both numb. Hollow.

"Gabriel Harkness-Jones. You will be dearly missed little angel," Gwen read quietly, sounding close to tears.

Ianto was resisting the urge to glare at her. If she cried now he didn't know what he would do. How dare she break down when neither he nor Jack where crying? It was supposed to be them that were upset, not her.

Tosh suddenly grabbed them both and pulled them in for a hug, surprising not only them, but herself, Gwen and Owen as well.

"I'm so sorry," she said. "You were both fantastic parents."

"Thanks Tosh," Ianto said mellowing a little.

She let go of them, her eyes shinning behind her glasses as she too tried not to cry. Ianto found it a little easier to forgive Tosh for being so emotional. It was just Gwen that… oh he didn't know why she infuriated him.

"Listen, we're gonna head off," Owen said, clearing his throat awkwardly. "Maybe go for a drink before going home. Do you want to come?"

"We might catch you guys up," Jack replied.

Owen nodded and began gently leading the girls away to give Jack and Ianto the space they'd been waiting so patiently for.

Ianto sank to his knees in front of the grave. Jack sat beside him, the cold wet ground soaking through his trousers.

"I miss him so much," Ianto whispered. "I can't believe how much it hurts."

Jack fingered the rabbit in his hands, tracing the soft fur ears. Ianto had bought it for Gabe a few days before he was born. He sat it against the grave. It looked so forlorn with its floppy ears slumped against the cold marble.

Ianto rubbed the blanket against his face again, his heart aching. It was still too hard to think about the fact that Gabe was never coming back; that their baby, their little angel was alone somewhere in the darkness.

Ianto shuddered. He'd tried hard not to think about death. It was bad enough to lose a child, but to know where they went afterwards…

"I miss him too," Jack said just as quietly, fresh tears running down his face. "I can still hear him laugh… and cry… and see his face with those big blue eyes…"

Ianto wrapped his cold stiff fingers around Jack's hand. There were large black clouds hanging overhead and somewhere in the distance the first rumble of thunder sounded.

"We should get back," Jack said finally. "Try and get some sleep."

"We'll fail," Ianto replied wiping his face.

"Yeah, but we've got to make an effort," Jack sighed. "Or you have at least. I don't want you to get ill."

He stood up shakily and helped Ianto to his feet.

"Goodbye baby," Jack muttered quietly as he passed the grave.

"Bye angel," Ianto said, his fingers ghosting over the marble as he followed Jack.


End file.
